The McDrip is Saucy | Big Drip Productions | Tag Team Tournament | #1

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Our scene starts at a late night McDonald’s. Employees of the restaurant start to close down, wiping down counters and putting things away. The silence of the night is disturbed by TJ Thompson bursting into the restaurant, a clipboard in hand and a smiling expression on his face. TJ approaches an employee.

TJ: Hey! You! Just the man I was looking to meet! I need a favour! Well...not exactly a favour. You'll benefit from it too! Your entire restaurant will benefit! Why, you ask? We-

EMPLOYEE: Sir, the store is closed-

TJ: Excuse me! I'm not done! Rude! I just came to say that I have this rap group. And I know how much McDonalds likes famous rappers! So much that you give them meals named after them! Well, I'll do you one better!

EMPLOYEE: ...I don't think I have the authority to do anything-

TJ: I'M NOT DONE YET! I have the best rap group in the world! I've seen your company sponsor worse rappers, so why not rename your entire franchise after us! Not just a tiny little meal! Think about all the burgers you'll sell! Think about all the money you could make! You could be paid an extra cent per hour! The dough is rolling in!

EMPLOYEE: I can't do anything-

TJ: What do you mean you can’t do anything? That’s not a good attitude! You can do anything you set your mind to! Just believe in yourself and in Big Drip Productions! Come on, you’ve gotta have some kind of pull in this place, right? How did all those other rappers get things named after them?

EMPLOYEE: Well I guess McDonalds approached them…

TJ: BUT THEY WERE TOO INTIMIDATED TO APPROACH US!!! Don’t worry, I get it! Not everyone can muster up the courage to talk to the best rap group on the planet! Not everyone has the self confidence to ask a favour of the Hip House! But never fear! Unlike those other shitty rappers, we’re coming to you!

EMPLOYEE: I'm pretty sure they didn't just pull up to one of the restaurants…

TJ: Well we couldn't find wherever we're supposed to go! Driving is hard. Navigation is hard. But you know what's not hard? Finding a normal McDonalds! There's one on every street corner! And I'm sure it makes it easier for you too. Instead of having to hire contractors and all those construction things, you can get started right away!

EMPLOYEE: On...what? I'm calling my manager…

TJ: On rebranding your business of course! McDonalds is so last year. I know you've been making new branding with other famous people, meals, clothes, chicken nugget pillows, all that shit. But it's time to take it a step further! McDonalds? Not anymore. McDrip is the future!

EMPLOYEE: Mc...what?

TJ: McDrip! WE WENT OVER THIS!!! Named after Big Drip Productions! Think of all the fans you'll bring in! It's like the Travis Scott burger! But with an entire restaurant chain! And with better rappers!

EMPLOYEE: Even if I could, why would we do that? I don't even know who you people are!

TJ: What do you mean why? Do you need any other reasons? ARE YOU QUESTIONING THE GOAT STATUS OF BIG DRIP PRODUCTIONS?!?!? How dare you?!? Don't you listen to music???

EMPLOYEE: No.

TJ: Or watch wrestling???

EMPLOYEE: No.

TJ: Well you need to crawl out from under your rock and get some culture in you! Come on, anyone that goes outside should know who we are! DO YOU GO OUTSIDE?!?

EMPLOYEE: ...Yes. You think I just teleported here?

TJ: Well I don't know anything about you McDrip workers! I'm sure it's a possibility! If crabs are allowed to wrestle, you can teleport to work!

EMPLOYEE: ...Well, I can't teleport. So do you want to leave or should I call the cops?

TJ: Come on, man, you're missing the point here! I HAVE A WHOLE POWERPOINT!!! Fine, you don't want McDrip? What about mchip? Or mcfuturetagchamps??? There's so many possibilities that include us! You can't just turn this down! Think of all the money you'll lose! Think of yourself! You could be the guy to lead McDrip into the future! You could make a shit ton of money for yourself! What are you, some money hating crab?!?

EMPLOYEE: I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!! I JUST MAKE THE FUCKING BURGERS!!!

At that point, the manager finally arrived onto the scene, sporting a mcdonald's hat and tie. Who wears a tie to McDonalds? Don't ask me.

MANAGER: What's all this yelling about? The place is closed, dude. Come back tomorrow if you want to buy something. What's with the clipboard?

TJ: Hey, are you in charge here? Your underling isn't too receptive to my great idea! Maybe you'll have a better outlook!

EMPLOYEE: Don't waste your time! He's trying to plug his little rap group or something by getting us to change our branding. We're not even allowed to do that! And I think he's on crack. Nobody sober would even try this!

TJ: Hey, now! I wish! But I'm completely sober here! The crack comes later! Now manager man. I'M HERE TO GIVE YOU THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETI-

EMPLOYEE: I'm calling the cops. Isn't this like... trespassing? WE'RE NOT CHANGING THE FUCKING BRANDING, YOU IDIOT!!! Even if we could! NOBODY WANTS TO EAT AT McDrip!!!

MANAGER: What in the hell is going on…

TJ: Fine, if you don't want to take my generous offer, this place is getting rebranded whether you like it or not!

With that, TJ climbs onto the cashier's desk and pulls out a marker.

MANAGER: Hey, get down from there! The place is closed, damnit! I'm gonna have to wipe that counter again!

EMPLOYEE: I don't get paid enough to deal with these crackheads…

TJ uncaps the marker and starts scribbling out menu items, replacing the names with names of his own creation.

TJ: Big mac? More like...uh...big hip! Yeah, that's a good name! Chicken mcnuggets??? WELL, NOW IT'S DRIPPING NUGGETS! I don't care that it doesn't make sense! You don't make sense! Your family doesn’t make sense!

TJ keeps scrolling on the menu as the workers give up trying to stop him and decide to just call the police after he’s done. The minimum wage isn’t worth this.

TJ: I’m a creative genius! Look at all those new names! I AM SINGLE HANDEDLY SAVING YOUR BUSINESS! Look at all those new and modern names! And I’m not done yet!

A beeping sound is heard from outside the restaurant. TJ, the employee and the manager look out the window to see Yung Sauce and Lil Petey on a forklift, replacing the letters of the McDonalds sign with the word McDrip.

EMPLOYEE: I just...I quit. I QUIT! WHAT’S WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?!? Burger King doesn’t attract crackheads like this!

MANAGER: But you still have an hour on your shift...WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!?

TJ (to Sauce and Petey): Good work, guys! McDrip is the future! Only 200 more places to go! Hopefully, they’re more accepting of us than these people were.

TJ exits the restaurant and joins Sauce and Petey as they leave in search of another McDonalds to invade, leaving the poor manager alone and confused as the scene fades to black.

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For what felt like a very long time, Yung Sauce was never a sporting man.

True to his word, he never wanted to take up any sport for the sake of having someone do better than him, which is something he was always insecure about. Sauce’s younger days of Hockey were hit and miss, his days as a soccer player were come and gone, his days as a handballer were too much for Sauce to handle. Which is why he became a rapper in the music industry, he was one of the best of the best in indie music. An aspiring rapper with no contract to any record labels. His world was higher than anyone else. Since joining Project Honor recently, a lot of people wondered what came to the mind of Yung Sauce. No strong sporting background, his rap game stronger than ever before, but with the help of his friend Lil Petey-- There was a future to have in professional wrestling.

With a new studio album coming out very soon for Yung Sauce, his mindset has been more focused towards it and having it prepared for it’s release date, but The Saucy One always remembered what's ahead. Within the studio of where he’s been preparing for “The Saucy E-Boy Chronicles III”, Yung Sauce has been running his mouth down the microphone and making sure that he hits the right notes. Through the booth’s window, Lil Petey stands by and watches Yung Sauce drop those saucy bars.

PETEY: Sauce! Come through, homes.

Petey saw something in the tone of Yung Sauce’s voice, something he doesn’t recognise in the aspiring rapper’s usual tone, for which he’s decided to pull him aside. Sauce drops his headphones onto the rack, exiting the booth and heading through the door and into the studio.

SAUCE: What’s up, breh?

PETEY: Something on your mind?

SAUCE: You know how it is. I got this whole ass wrestling match, probably the best of the best from what I’ve been hearing, and now I got my new album coming out and it ain’t even complete yet.

Sauce takes a deep breath, shaking his head and pulling back his hair as he begins to procrastinate.

SAUCE: Bro, I’m fucking stressed out man. This shit is tiring, how the fuck did you convince me to do this again?

Petey places his hand on Sauce’s shoulder.

PETEY: You know I got your back in this, homie. We brothers to the end. Don’t be afraid of Zane and Myo-

SAUCE: No, that’s not how you say it. You have to shout it. It’s MYOJIN. Ain’t that hard, breh.

PETEY: You know you don’t gotta shout it, right, fam?

SAUCE: B- but it says it in capitals.

PETEY: Nah, b. You don’t gotta say it like that.

Sauce deadpans for a moment as he thinks about the thought of it all in his head.

PETEY: I hope you seriously didn’t shout Myojin this whole time.

SAUCE: ...imighthavebutitdontmatter.

Petey sighs.

SAUCE: I’mma just get back in the booth.

PETEY: Yeah, finish the track.

Sauce opens the door to the booth and heads inside.

PETEY: Now, don’t lose focus on this. This right here might be the biggest project you have ever worked on in your life.

SAUCE: I gotchu, fam.

The music once again hits as Sauce begins to drop that sick chorus.

SAUCE: How come all this conversation? Me, me, me, me. How come all your ladies, they want me, me, me, me? One to the three-three-seven, I'm elite-'lite-'lite-'lite Bouncin' both ways, back to the bed. That's greed, greed, greed, greed.

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Fuck yeah, I’m in another company! Someone else really hired me! They’re like...playing me and stuff! To wrestle! I thought the first place was good, but someone else saw my inner goat! And outer goat! I’m ready to slap some hoes and win some gold! But not only do you get the yung goat, the hip beast, now there’s three of us! I’m in a tag team now! I know, people actually want to team with me! And they also happen to be the best rappers on the planet when they’re not kicking ass in a wrestling ring. I’ve never thought of myself as a tag team guy. Mostly because nobody wanted to team with me. Why? Well, I guess they weren’t so smart. Who could turn down being carried by the goat? But these guys are enlightened! They understand what hip is! We even used that salary to buy a place! The hip house! Sure, there’s some wiring problems. Maybe electricity is expensive. And that real estate agent looked a little sketchy. BUT IT’S A HOUSE! We could be homeless! Or living in a bungalow. Shudder. But not only are we a tag team, but we’re also in a tournament for the tag belts! And you know how much PH loves tag teams. Their wrestlers? Not so much. But this time the teams actually want to be together! What a novel concept. But with all the teams looking to become the first-ever tag champs, what makes you think that we’ll be the ones to win it all, you ask? Nobody in PH has ever experienced hip! I AM A PIONEER OF PH! I’ve brought hip across the world...sort of. Everywhere I’ve gone, I left it a little more hip! THE POWER OF HIP IS ON MY SIDE!!! But those other teams? They’ll see it at the end. But THEY HAVE NO HIP! Don’t worry! I’m not a monster! I’m sure they’ll see it eventually, but not when they’re in a ring. Preferably...after they’ve been eliminated. Sure, that sounds good. But with every goat of wrestling, there’s haters! Like that guy at the McDonalds...I mean mcdrip. People are so negative. Hoes mad. There are always people salty about my success! They don’t think I deserve to be here! It’s not my fault that I can get the same results with an hour in the gym as you do in a week! Maybe a little less...but I find a way to win matches, ok? GOATS ALWAYS FIND A WAY!!! Everyone’s jealous! And I’m about to give them another reason to hate me after we win these tag straps!

Yung Sauce, Lil Petey and TJ Thompson! Big Drip Productions is the best rap group and wrestling tag team in the game! Sure, those things might have nothing in common. They usually don’t go hand in hand. But we brought them together! Like divorced parents in some shitty comedy movie. But now it's time to focus on the wrestling part. You know, out of all the teams in this thing, there's one face I that I actually recognize. MYOJIN is in this place too! Aka Jeremy, this guy is fucking everywhere! HE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! But it's not all bad! He's pretty good! Sure, he can be a bit of a buzzkill, but he can wrestle. That's why we're here, right? This is gonna be like...the third time I’ve faced him across multiple companies! I know it’s hard to stay away from the hip beast. But let’s get back on topic. I think facing him would be a nice matchup in the finals, you know? Think about all the tickets we would sell! But no, the luck of the draw wasn’t on our side...or it was rigged...but either way, we’re facing the man and his partner Zane in the first round! It’s a shame that these promising powerhouses are going to be knocked off so early.

So let’s start with Zane. Well...there’s no Zane for now. Poor Myo. Nothing is going right for him. But where is Zane, you ask? Nobody knows. They say she’s kidnapped. But maybe she’s too scared to face Big Drip Productions. It’s ok, not everyone is strong enough to get on our level. Maybe she faked the kidnapping so she has an excuse to not show up to the match. It can’t be that hard to fake a kidnapping, right? You just get someone to shove a bag over your head and drag you away. And then you wave your arms around and scream. Not so hard, right? I bet I could fake a kidnapping right now! But I have no reason to. But Zane? She has a pretty good reason! But let’s say she’s actually been kidnapped! That’s not good. Yikes. What kind of wrestling company would book one of their employees after being kidnapped? That’s like being called in for your shift in the middle of being stabbed to death. SHAME, PH, SHAME! Who’s idea was that? Think about it. You’re in a meeting in some office room. You’re talking about your tag tournament. Let’s book this poor kidnapped soul! I’m sure she’ll find her way back in time, right? RIGHT?!? I’m sure she has it handled...the cops will find her in time for the match...we’re running out of good wrestlers to book, ok? LET'S BOOK THE WRESTLER WHO HAS BEEN ABDUCTED!!! And everyone in that meeting room was like "great idea!". Somebody needs to be fired. And it's not me for once! But I guess that's good for me. It's a two on one! Hopefully. Who knows? Maybe Myo can clone himself. Or he'll magically pull some amazing wrestler out of the crowd. Or the crab revolution will start and cost us the match. I'm sure something will happen. But that would involve thinking that things are realistic here! THIS IS WRESTLING, GODDAMNIT! Nothing ever makes sense! I know Zane is somehow going to escape right in the nick of time and make some triumphant return in the middle of the match. It's gonna happen! I SMELL IT! IT'S SO CONVENIENT!!! Kidnapping is bad. We know this. I think that's common knowledge. BUT HER KIDNAPPERS BETTER LOCK THE DAMN DOOR!!! I won't have any mid-match escaping on my watch! I know she'll want to make some dramatic return, but no! NO! Not allowed! Those kidnappers better not let her escape AT THAT EXACT MOMENT!!! But I know it'll probably happen. Because it's a nice moment. So she can drive in and go all super saiyan mode. But sure. Let's say that she somehow managed to escape her captors. I feel like a normal person would go eat something. Maybe go home and get some sleep. Or go to the police to report those kidnappers. But you know wrestlers. Logic? We don't know the meaning of that word. "I ESCAPED FROM CAPTIVITY SO NOW IT'S TIME TO RUN OVER TO A WRESTLING RING AND GET MY ASS KICKED!!!" I'm calling it! But I am prepared! I'm locking all the doors to the arena. Go get a coffee or something! I fear for your health, Zane! Wait…oh...they found her. FUCK...I mean...yay! Great news! I guess you'll be ok in time for the match...great! Awesome! Let's...just move on…

So Myo! It's me. Again. Wooooo. WOOOOO! I know what you're thinking. I've beat this guy a million times before! This time shouldn't be too different, right? WRONG! I'm not alone this time. I have the homie Yung Sauce to hide behind! Sure, that might sound a little cowardly...but...it's the truth. I don't lie! I have someone to hide behind this time! That means I can avoid the ass beating that is coming my way, and then re-enter the match when you're all beaten down and hurt! Everybody wins! But an outside party could say that you have a partner too! Sure, probably one with PTSD. And not at 100%. But I don't think your pride will allow you to hide! Shame. You should be more humble! Like me, the goat! I'm the definition of humbleness. All my labels have been given by others. Others that have been told to call me that by...me...but we don't focus on that! I'm ready to do everything I can to win...if it includes Sauce doing everything...sure! I guess. Yeah...he might carry me. But Sauce too is a goat! Unlike Zane and Myo. He can beat those clowns with a hand tied behind his back! And a leg tied behind his back! And I'll also be there! Doing things. Hopefully. But you know, me and Myo have our history. He's beaten me...a lot. And have I gotten him back?!? No. No I have not. But I'm not a bitter guy! I just want to get past this match! And I’m pretty sure I will. The makeup weighs him down! It’s like...an extra pound on your face. I don’t know how the guy moves with all that heaviness up there! I don’t know, maybe he has strong face muscles or something. Either way, it won’t help him! Big Drip will prevail! And Myo...probably won’t. I don’t think he’ll prevail with a loss. That’s not how things work.

So we winning! This is known. Common knowledge. Celestial Lovers are cool...but nobody really knows what that name means...and Big Drip is just too much. Another reason to add to the list! Some people might think that our run in this thing is already over. But real ones know that it’s just getting started!

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“Ayyyye. We are out here on stream! Welcome to The Drip Talks!”

The Drip God himself had found himself on the streaming platform - Twitch - in recent months after Mixer had shut down. His options were limited, from YouTube Gaming to Facebook Gaming. As he sets himself up on Twitch from the comfort of his own hotel room, he adjusts the lighting to the perfect setting and shines a ring light into his face, setting the mood to stream a “Just Chatting” show.

“So here’s the thing boys and girls, because I don’t discriminate around here, I’m a bit weary about this whole wrestling thing. This whole thing about fighting and shit, man, it’s kinda whack. I know that it’s all going to be something that a lot of my fans are gonna watch because it’s just like that, they’re true supporters and they know what’s up. I know all of y’all are gonna be watching, but again, I’m a bit weary. I was somewhat on the edge a bit with the whole Tag Team thing, because I had no clue what I was getting into but the yung gawd himself; Petey; he hooked me up with a contract.”

Sauce gives a wink to the camera.

“I was never a man for sport, but you know what, I grew a pair of them BIG ASS BALLS of mine and decided to do something that’ll get me going. I saw Lil Petey doing his thing and although he might be on that L streak, I don’t wanna do the same for myself. This is where it gets interesting, because myself and TJ, we’re in this whole ass tournament kinda thing and we’re about to run them all down baby, or at least we hope to anyway. I seen the line up and I know what’s here and there but there’s this team that we’ve got and it’s making me wonder a bit about something. The two favourites in this thing, man… what the fuck they called again? Celcery Lovers? I think that’s what it is. But hear me out. I know that all of the people watching the show thinking that this is some kinda joke that the Celery Lovers got a free bye into this tournament but it isn’t going to be like that at all. Nah, b. This is different, we hit differently. We’re out here doing our own thing. We build different.”

The Saucy One finds the perfect time to flex the arms, although they aren’t as muscly as he might have hoped to be.

“Myo, Mio, mayo. I seen what you can do. I know what it’s like to be running around doing all of this and then getting nowhere. It’s the same as the rap business, you gotta hit hard and keep hitting. You know? From my perspective, you might think you’re in the Hip Hop Hall of Fame like Eazy E or Biggie, you actually are on the same level as those trying to break out like Ski Mask or X. You’re on that level, you’re good but sometimes you have those lost chances that get you nowhere. You’re that track everyone skips over from their favourite album. We all got that one song, don’t cap. I mean to say this but you’re not as good as what you, or the other folks actually hype you up as, and all I’m seeing is a lot of caps. Man, the cap store been opened for a while now, ever since Bloodbath and breh, you got a whole lot of caps on your funky ass head.”

Sauce begins to laugh as the Twitch chat begins to spam the cap emoji.

“See, it’s all you are my man, you’re all hype and I respect that. Mans gotta start out somehow and if that’s what you use to build yourself up then I can see why you’re like that but you just ain’t worth it right now. I have been training for a hella amount of time, I been making moves in the ring and I’m ready for the big time leagues. This is the big time leagues and you, mayo, are about to get the sauce for the first time. Normally, it would matter what you’d be doing in other places but you’re slacking there too on Total Drama Island. You’re full of cap, you’re whack in every sense of the word, everything about you is something that I could laugh at. You feel me? Your hair, whack. Your smile, whack. Your style, whack. Your jewelry, whack. Your pale skin, whack. Me? I’m tight as FUCK!”

The Drip God smacks himself on the chest.

“Mayo, you ain’t no nick cage, you’re out here being all like ‘I will find you and I will kill you’ like your partner there is your daughter. This ain’t taken, breh. Your life ain’t no movie scene. This is the real life. Speaking of which, ol’ Zane there, she looking cute though. I’m tryna hit, maybe, but I know you’re gonna be all over her like a drooling dog, Mayo. Zane been proving that she can stand with the big boys for a while now but couldn’t stand her ground when she got kidnapped. Damn, that’s tuff. Zane, I know it’s a tough world out there but shawty you’re standing your ground out there like you got that WAP, WAP, WAP. It might be hard but I’m not gonna simp, not on No Nut November, brehs. I made that promise to the Hip House, I promised that to TJ and to Petey; that my harem won’t make me lose this moment. This is why we are who we are. We are the Big Drip Productions. WE GOT THAT BIG FRICKIN’ DRIP. Zane, I’mma grab a bucket and a mop and clean up the competition, just make sure that you don’t try to add yourself to my harem. We good? You feel me, my mfer?”

Sauce cracks his knuckles.

“Ight bet, I gotta grab some sleep, and prepare for the few days coming up soon. I promise we gonna collect that W because we don’t stop, we don’t ever stop because Celery Lovers fell for the oldest trick in the book, two god damn white males, right here and right now. Big Drip. We those fly young peeps. We the sauce that collects. And we are the soon crowned Project Honor Tag Team Champs, baby. Saucy out.”

And just like that, the stream ends to black.

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