Routine (Pat the postman CD)

[div align="center"]A Few Months Ago[/div]

It was a bright sunny day that day in Dildo. The perfect weather for delivering posts. We hear the greatest remix of a children's television song ever as a red post van drives down the road. It stops slowly by a post box just outside a residents home. A large hand extends out of the vehicle with the home’s post. It puts it inside the box and raises the red flag before it begins to drive off again. Or he was going to before a small child would wave him down.

He had a little tiny postman hat on along with a postman uniform. He stopped and smiled to the postman as he waved. The postman stopped the car and waved back before he got out of the post van. A giant steps out of the van. He had to of been at least seven feet tall and well over four hundred pounds. The van leaned like something awful as he stepped out. He got on his knees. Even then he towered over the small child. His lips spread and contorted into something of a smile. If you’d want to call it that.

”Why hello there little postman. It doesn’t look like i’m needed anymore with you around.” He’d whisper to the child.

“No Pat we still need you! You’re the best postman ever!”

”Thank you little Timmy. You’re always so kind.” He tells the young lad.

“Pat i wanna be just like you one day!”

”I’m sure you’d make a great postman Timmy.”

“Say Pat… could you take me to the park? Mommy and daddy are asleep and won’t take me. They took their night night sticks and won’t get up!”

”Sure Timmy, it’s just down the road. Hop on in.”

Timmy gets into the red postal van. Pat soon follows and they drive off. Towards the park.

Pat drops off at the park before he continues onto his route.

The next time we see pat he’s hunched over a table. He’s got a red stain on his shirt after some ketchup dropped off one of his fries. He struggles, but gets up. He throws away his trash as he walks by some empty tables. He heads out and behind him is a billboard full of black and white posters.

He gets back into his red van. He drives off and soon after we see him exit again after a well placed edit and cut in the video. He steps out with a large bag, not of posts but of his own belonging. His shift is finished and he’s back home. His black and white cat purrs as he enters the home. He pours the bag over by it’s bowel and we can see some meat pour out. The cat starts to eat on it.

”Good boy Jess. Eat up on the cat food i made for you.”

He places the bag in a deep freezer before we see him sit down.


Another sunny day in the city of Dildo. Pat drives down the same streets he’s driven down for decades. We see him stop at the young boy who was dressed as a postman’s house. He goes out to deliver the post. As he does though, Timmy’s parents come out from the house. Their clothes are filthy and tattered up. They look like they haven’t slept in days as they have sores all over their arms. The father looks annoyed and the mother looks out of it.

“Pat’chu see mah boy any? He left out somewheres andmeandmywife haven’t seen’m anywheres.” The father says in a hazy voice.

”Why no sir, i haven’t seen him since he went to the park a few days ago.”

“He wentatha park? Wendy gotatha park?” he asks.

”Why a few days ago. I made sure he got there nice and safely.”

“Whatcha doin lookin at ma son?”

”Well you two were far too busy with your night-night sticks. So someone had to watch him and ensure he was safe on his way to the park.”

“Ah shaddap! You worthless postman!” he says as they go back inside. We hear some screaming and a loud thud before we hear a woman cry.

Pat shakes his head as he puts the post into the mailbox. He drives off and the next time we see him he’s in the restaurant as before. Same table, same meal, same everything. He hears a couple talk amongst themselves as he eats.

“Seems another one is missing.” a man said.

“There’s always been folks missing in this town, it’s nothing new.” She said.

We can see Pat’s face contort into a scowl as he hears what the couple has to say. He stands up and walks over towards them. A seething rage emits from him as he slams his fist on the table, nearly flipping and breaking it. His fists clenched tightly.

”How can you bastards just be so nonchalant about another one missing?! That’s someone’s mother or father, son or daughter! But you just want to joke around and act like it’s no big deal?!)”

Before they can even retort he quickly leaves the establishment, trying to compose himself. He gets back into his van before driving off. He drives off into the sunset as we see a black screen fade in and read “a few weeks later”. He’s sitting in his red chair, on his red carpet, surrounded by his red walls in his red house. Watching his red TV. He’s watching the news, on the news is a story about little Timmy.

We’re now watching the news broadcast. The local newscaster begins to speak.

“Harry Bahlls here, tonight we’re reporting on the latest missing persons case to hit Dildo. A little boy named Timmy Smith has been missing for a week or more now. We couldn’t contact the parents of little Timmy, but neighbors were quoted as saying “Timmy’s parents spent more time on the hard stuff than they did taking care of that boy. Wouldn’t be surprised if he ran away with how terrible it was there.””

“The last time anyone saw little Timmy was at the local park near his home. He was wearing a Postman costume. We hope we can find little Timmy soon. For the parents of Timmy, we’ve been told child protective services and police are looking into the matter. That’s all we have for now, next up, are animals being forced to fight against their will in the XHF? PETA thinks so! Find out more at seve-”

The TV is shut off as Pat wipes his eyes. Tears roll down his elongated face at the news of his little buddy Timmy missing. As he sobs softly Jess hops onto his lap and begins to lick him.

”Oh Jess, this is dreadful. Just dreadful! Poor Timmy has gone missing!”

Jess purrs some more, trying to cheer his friend up. It works after a little while, Pat composes himself. He sees Jess’ bowl empty as he gets up and walks towards the deep freezer. He looks inside, but quickly closes it. He looks concerned.

”Looks like we’ll have to go to the butcher Jess. I’ll be back in a little bit my friend.” he says with a faint smile.

Pat heads out and goes off to the butcher. The giant of a man has to duck under the door to even enter the building. When he does, he towers over the butcher. The butcher looks up towards him and asks…

“What can i get you today Pat?”

”The usual Tom… add a deer and a rabbit to the order actually.”

“Sure thing Pat, just pull the van up to the back and i’ll load it right in for you.” he says as he writes it down on a notepad and heads towards the back.

Pat drives his van to the back and opens it up so Tom the butcher loads it all into the back. Once it’s all loaded up he pays the man and drives off. Once he gets back home, he unloads it in the back. He carries the meat and bloody bags into his basement. We see lots of instruments and tools as he places the animal carcasses onto a table and begins to carve into them. Skinning them and cutting them up with expert precision. Only an experienced carver could do what Pat was doing.

Once he’s finished, he’s covered in blood from the animals. He packs the meat into bags and wipes everything off before heading up. He dumps some meat into the bowl of Jess before placing the rest into the deep freezer.